Lloyd Goldstein

I am playing for a patient in Rehab that I have played for before. She seems a little groggy today. After a few pieces she says enthusiastically, “More, more! I love it. Since the stroke my mouth isn’t smiling the way I want it to, but I’m smiling inside.”

An otherwise healthy gentleman, Mr. Belcher lies in bed after orthopedic surgery. He is a classical music “enthusiast”, as he puts it. Listens avidly, and has many recordings in his collection, sometimes of the same work, by different artists. He asks me to play some Bach. I do not do this very often, as it is some of the most beautiful, and in many ways, challenging music ever composed. Thus it is an accomplishment for me simply to play it with ease and clarity. I played one movement of Bach, along with several other pieces. My rendition of Bach, though fairly relaxed and pleasant was nothing really to write home about, but here is what Mr. Belcher had to say. “I have listened to Casal’s and Yo Yo Ma, and many others play the Bach Cello Suites on recordings, but here and now, in this place and situation, I am enjoying you as much as any recording I have ever listened to. Wow. This is the power of live music in special circumstances.

It is in the everyday moments, the here and now present moments, that we create the shape and the quality of our lives. It is here and now that the past and future are created. But have no fear, both past and future are fully malleable. Like a gong that rings back and forth in waves of vibration, we transmit our intentions, out and back, out and back. It is important to remember that we may choose the kind and quality of our thoughts, and that these thoughts have a profound influence on the way we feel and act. In this way, by choosing to pay attention to our own thoughts, we create the shape and quality of our lives.

Every life requires sustenance, food, shelter, clothing and some interaction with the lives around it. Simply sustaining the body in good order is sometimes a challenge. It is often the necessary, basic requirements of existence that provide the most severe challenges to our thinking, feeling and acting. And it is during these challenging times that we are most in need of inspiration.

Inspiration is that idea that life is beautiful regardless of how challenging it may be at any moment. That in the midst of pain, a rose still flourishes in the snow outside of Athens. A woman lies in bed knowing full well that she is imminently dying, yet listens with eyes closed to the musician playing beside her bed, and though it is quite painful, draws him near to her and hugs him deeply. She is inspired to remember the beautiful moments of her long and rich life. He is inspired by her strength, her graciousness, and her power to choose her thoughts, feelings, and actions, even in the last moments of her life.

Let us all remember that each moment of our lives is an opportunity to inspire ourselves and others, beginning with our very own thoughts in the here and now.

Lloyd Goldstein 1/27/07

50 years old, very nice guy, second visit, really happy to see me. I remember our first visit. He is sitting in a chair and sharing places from his travels, places the music is taking him back to . . . Ireland, Scotland, the far east. He describes the landscapes, the music and the dancing. He tells me to keep on doing what I am doing because it is good work, and I do it well.

Today I arrive at the same time as his physical therapist. We do a little dance about who will see the patient first. We are polite and deferential. Then we all realize, let’s do this together. I play and they exercise together and I am inspired to play music that makes the work go lightly and freely, with fun, and generosity. I look up occasionally and our patient smiles, nods, winks at me. He says, “This is great.”

Afterwards he says enthusiastically. “You have no idea how great that was. It made this so much easier. You guys need to get together all the time. Tell the hospital. Tell them a patient told you. You should be a team together all the time.” I tell him I am so glad he enjoyed it, and in an ideal world we would have a host of musicians paired with physical therapists and they would all rotate so nobody would get tired of anyone’s music, and there would still be time for just music visits. In an ideal world. In the meantime, we made plans to see each other next week for a few more minutes in an ideal world.

It is late and I have an especially early day, but I just have to write about this extraordinary afternoon and evening of patient visits. My entire shift ended up being spent in Perinatal.

My first visit was with Ingrid, 24 years old, in the hospital for about 2 weeks. I had played for her last week. Last week she was sleepy, resting in bed, but very open to music. I played a couple of soothing songs and she said, “Beautiful! That is so restful. I will be here a few more weeks. I will look for you more often, I hope.”

This week Ingrid was wide awake and happy to see me return. I played a bit and she mentioned that since our last visit she had been thinking about how much she would like to play a musical instrument, and the violin had been in her mind. I am passionate about music, teaching, and also about people being able to realize their dreams. We talked for a while about possibilities and methods of learning the violin. As the conversation progressed it became apparent that she began to become curious about the possibility of getting lessons while in the hospital and also about the double bass, my instrument.

I began to think; this young woman will be in the hospital for about 5 weeks. My approach to teaching beginners is to have 4 days a week of 15 minute lessons focused solely on the bow technique. I move the students arm and wrist for them. They simply absorb the feeling, sleep on it, and we repeat it again the following day, until it is automatically programmed into the students body. It occurred to me that we could accomplish this using my instrument right here in the Perinatal Unit!

Then we had our first lesson. Ingrid was focused and very aware of all her sensations. She did a great job of allowing the movement to happen easily and naturally. I spent a total of almost 90 minutes with Ingrid, but it was well worth it. Even the nurses got a charge out of seeing her take her first bass lesson An unexpected pleasure for everyone. And a real bit of Music Therapy!

The next visit was with Lena, approx 30 years old and open to the experience of live music in her hospital room. After playing for several minutes, Tina asked me if moving my fingers up and down the neck changed the sound of the music. I explained the basic idea of how to play both harmonics and stopped notes on the bass and demonstrated basic positions, scales and so on. Tina was in rapt attention during all of this. I played a few more pieces, noticing Lena’s warm appreciative smile. Michaela, one of the nurses on duty popped in and propped herself up on the extra bed, saying, “Lena, you are keeping him all to yourself! Michaela stayed to listen to ‘Over the Rainbow’ before she left. Lena mentioned, “It seems so easy when he plays.”

Ease of playing is important to me, because if it is not easy for me, it is not easy for the listener, so I felt really good about Lena’s observation. Lena later confided that she was planning to offer her 9 year old daughter violin lessons, which again allowed me the opportunity to share my passion about the Suzuki Violin Method and about finding the right teacher etc. By the time I left Lena was excited and confident about beginning mother and daughter Suzuki training in the near future.

The next person I played for is named Nyla. Nyla was politely open to listening to live music. I was able to play inside her large room, in the corner and still be at a comfortable distance. The wood floors and large rooms in University Community’s Perinatal Unit are a real treat to play in. Nyla requested relaxing, soothing music. Each time I looked up I saw a warm approving smile and eyes lit up. After each song, she simply said in a rich alto voice, “Good.” “Very good.” “Yes, that’s good.” After the second song she rolled on her side and propped her head up to watch more closely, always with that warm smile and that simple word, “Good.” “ I hope I will see you again, good luck to you”, she called as I made ready to leave.

Michaela, the nurse I mentioned earlier mentioned a brand new baby, just delivered in Birthing and Delivery and had a feeling the new parents might welcome a bit of happy music to welcome their newborn son. This would be my first time playing in this area and I was excited. Sure enough the parents were willing and eager to listen. The nurses gathered near the doorway and I began to play something slow and mellow, and soon the baby began to cry. I picked up the tempo thinking that I would move toward something more upbeat and celebratory, and the crying subsided. The parents agreed that a happy upbeat tune would be appropriate and I played one of my favorite original compositions, ‘A Walk in the Woods’. Everyone seemed to enjoy that and found it just right for the occasion. Then a discussion of baby names ensued and we all joined in, voting for our favorites. I felt so honored to be a part of those moments.

After playing for the new parents, I fulfilled an earlier request to play for the nurses in Birthing and Delivery. All 6 or so nurses sat behind the desk and listened to me play one of my best original songs, “Dancing Moonbeams”. I really tried to make it dance for them and to make it as beautiful as I could. They seemed to really like it and applauded a bit. I confided in them my fantast to play during a birth, and added that I doubted that this would be possible. They began to look at one another and I could see them thinking it over, visualizing the scene and first one, then another began to voice the possibility that this could really happen, and they would keep it in mind. They asked for my card, so that they could contact me if a family seemed open and eager for this experience. Wow, I am phyched!

Finally, I visited another young mother named Elsa. Elsa had her perhaps one year old son on the bed with her, her husband nearby and a sister or close friend in the room too. As soon as I started to play the baby boy began to do a little baby dance, sitting there on the bed, moving to the music. The women found this so funny, they could not stop laughing. I cautioned them, jokingly, that they might cause him to be self-conscious about his dancing if they continued to laugh at him. I played music with a lot of happy rhythm and even plucked a boogey woogey progression. The young one really liked that. Before I left he plucked the strings on my bass and I played one last song. Olga said, “I’ll be here tomorrow”. . .

Each one of these visits went far beyond just playing music. The music truly became a vehicle for sincere and joyful communication of hopes and dreams, warmth and satisfaction, accomplishment, surprise and delight. It has been a truly memorable day and I wanted you to hear about it.

All my best,
Lloyd Goldsten